There are things that you can do when your thinking patterns are not conducive to the goals you want to achieve.
Most of our lives are revolved around goals that we have, whether they be big or small, whether they are in our head or we have them written down for reminders or some sort of list, or whether they are short term or long term.
The first thing that we may do when we don’t achieve our goals is set the next deadline for when we want them completed by, to reset them so we can look forward to that achievement.
When we decide to abstain from some form of addictive substance, it is important to put a date on the day that we would like to achieve that goal and start putting some structures, both physical and mental in place so that you give yourself the best chance to achieve that goal and in the process, change your mindset.
For example, giving up alcohol.  If you have made the decision that you know you either want or need to abstain from alcohol, because it may be causing more harm than good in your life or you may want to improve your life for the better, then give yourself the best chance of doing this by doing some essential forward planning.
There are many ways for you to prepare for this so that you aren’t setting yourself up for failure :
Acknowledgement of the issue
Taking it seriously
Telling your friends and family of your intentions to make yourself accountable
Getting rid of temptations – any alcohol in the house, staying away from licenced premises and bottle shops
Avoiding bad influences – people who may want you to fail.
When we make a decision in our mind that we want to achieve something, anything, we are challenging our willpower.
You are the one who makes the decision between what you want to do or what you don’t want to do, be that good or bad.  This is a competition between the two parts of our brain which is where the saying “in two minds” comes from.
Things that will help us to make the best decision for our wellbeing are :
Getting a good night’s sleep
Practicing mindfulness
15-20 minutes meditation a day
Some form of exercise, preferably outdoors during the day
And eating healthily.
Doing these things will make us stronger against relapse and it will become easier to resist temptations.
It is also really important not to be too self-critical when we don’t always achieve our goals, as feeling bad about this can be a further drain on our willpower and small lapses may turn into big relapses.  We are all human and the way we usually learn is through our experiences.
Above all, be kind to yourself!